


Halloween 1982

by Coriaria



Series: One More Dirty Job AU [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, cute toddler Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-08-08 20:13:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16436045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coriaria/pseuds/Coriaria
Summary: It's Halloween and everyone is on edge.





	Halloween 1982

**Author's Note:**

> This may, or may not make sense if you haven't read One More Dirty Job. If you haven't, it's basically Sirius raising Harry, Remus and Severus living next door and helping out.
> 
> This is a work of fan fiction, characters are the property of JKR, no profit is being made...

“Do you think he knows?”

Remus watched as Harry pushed himself around the kitchen on his ride-on train. Everything was trains right now. Harry was yelling “choo, choo, choo” as he propelled himself along then collided with the table.

“Train crash,” he yelled, “bang, smash, crash.”

He hauled the train around and headed off again, narrowly avoiding Severus, who jumped aside to prevent his feet from getting run over.

“That’s a fanciful Gryffindor notion if there ever was one. He’s two. He has no idea of what day it is.”

Remus shrugged.

“I suppose. It’s just… there’s strong magic at this time of year. I thought he might sense it.”

“I stand by my earlier statement. He’s two.”

Remus was looking at the clock on the wall.

“Worrying won’t help, you know,” Severus said.

“I know, I know. But that’s the third time this week he’s said he’ll be back in the evening and hasn’t turned up. He can’t behave like this, it’s irresponsible.”

“Does Harry look bothered, Remus?”

There was another crash and peal of laughter as Harry collided with a bookcase.

“Well… no.”

“Sirius is being an arse right now. But that’s hardly news, is it. He has these irresponsible patches, you know that. No doubt he will turn up sometime later this morning looking apologetic and hoping I’ve made some hangover potion. In the meantime, Harry is fine with us.”

There was another crash, this one even louder than the last. For a moment, there was silence and then Harry began to howl.

Severus flinched at the noise, but recovered quickly. Within moments he was beside the wailing boy, gathering him, rocking him, murmuring soothing noises. Harry wrapped his arms around Severus’s neck and bawled, but he was much quicker to calm than he used to be.

Remus watched quietly, ready to step in but knowing he didn’t need to. It hadn’t always been that way. When Sirius had first brought Harry to their house, his banging, screaming and enraged tantrums had brought Severus to the edge of panic. Even when Harry was calm, Severus was mystified. Remus had sat Harry in Severus’s lap one day, and Severus had frozen, terror in his eyes.

Remus had sat down beside them, one hand on Harry, one on Severus.

“Have you even held a baby, love?”

Severus gave the faintest shake of his head.

“It’s really not hard, especially by this age. He’s not particularly fragile.”

Harry had reached up and grabbed Severus’s nose, then smiled. All at once, Remus had seen Severus melt as he looked into the green eyes.

“He has his mother’s eyes,” Severus had whispered in wonder.

Sirius turned up at lunchtime, haggard and unshaven. Severus handed him a cup of freshly brewed hangover potion before anyone said a word. Remus watched, tight-lipped, as he swallowed the potion.

“Have you eaten?” Remus asked. “We were just about to have lunch.”

Sirius shook his head and Remus shoved a plate at him.

The table was mostly silent as they ate. Even Harry seemed to pick up the tension. Finally, Remus spoke.

“Sirius, we were thinking about going to the cemetery this afternoon. It would be nice if you – and Harry of course – could join us.”

Sirius looked up from his plate, frowning.

“Cemetery? Why? Where?”

Severus rolled his eyes slightly.

“Godric’s Hollow.”

After lunch, Severus disappeared into the greenhouse and returned with flowers that Remus didn't know he was growing.

“Lily,” Harry said, pointing at the flowers.

“That’s right, Harry,” Severus replied. “And what else is called Lily?”

“Mummy,” said Harry. He paused for a moment, then continued. “Harry has Mummy’s eyes.”

They apparated to Godric’s Hollow, Sirius with Harry in his arms, Severus holding the lilies, Remus holding a bag with snacks, nappies and a few toys. They stood in front of the graves, then each of them laid some of the flowers. Remus recited a prayer that he remembered from his mother’s funeral.

After the prayer, they stood in silence. Even Harry seemed subdued, until he got bored and decided to explore the graves. Severus trailed after him.

Sirius watched them, letting out a long sigh.

“I’m a terrible godfather, Remus.”

Remus turned his head to look at Sirius.

“What makes you say that?”

Sirius sighed and his shoulders slumped.

“Look at them,” he said, gesturing to where Harry and Severus were looking at the weeds growing at the edge of the cemetery. “You two have it so together. Both of you are so amazing with him. Severus… who’d have thought. And I’m barely keeping it together. I feel like such a disaster. I wasn’t sleeping so I started to drink at night and now… I know I’m drinking far too much.”

He sighed again.

“Dumbledore keeps telling me how important Harry is, that You-know-who will come back and that Harry will save us all. And keeps saying he’d be safer at the Dursleys’. _Blood magic_ , he says, _more powerful than any ward we can create_. McGonagall keeps visiting with young, single women that she hopes I’ll marry so they can look after Harry. Molly’s on at me to get married too. And she’s always going on about the unnatural and unhealthy influences I’m exposing Harry to.”

“Meaning Severus and me.”

Remus allowed himself a smirk. Sirius had come a long way.

“Sirius, do you think you are being too hard on yourself?”

Sirius shook his head miserably.

“I think maybe you are, you know,” Remus continued. “It’s hard looking after a child on your own. And with a child who has been through what Harry has been through… ”

Harry was often delightful, but he also bore more scars than just the one on his forehead. He had screaming tantrums every day and woke constantly at night.

“But I couldn’t do it without you and Severus,” Sirius said. “Without you, I’d... I’d…”

“You’re not supposed to do it alone, idiot.”

Remus gave him a gentle slap on the back of his head.

“James and Lily had each other, and think how often we were helping them out. Lily’s friends were there too, especially Mary. It’s not supposed to be a solo effort. And in case you hadn’t noticed, we like helping you.”

The sound of Harry’s giggles carried across the graveyard as Severus tried to stop him climbing onto an old tomb.

“I hadn’t thought of it that way,” Sirius said softly. “Thank you. And I’m sorry I’m such a mess. I just feel like you two do so well with him and I’m…”

He shrugged.

“Harry adores you, Sirius. And he’s thriving. He’s done so well from how he was when he first arrived with you. You haven’t done it alone, but a lot of that is because of you. And…”

Remus glanced up. Harry was now running around a tomb with Severus chasing him.

“I know you think Severus and I have it all together, but we struggle at times as well. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but this is the first time Severus has left the house in a month. His nightmares have been a lot worse. I think it’s the time of year, this time last year he was in a Death Eater prison, being tortured to the edge of sanity.”

“I didn’t realise, I’m sorry.”

“He won’t thank me for telling you, but I thought you just needed to know. This is a difficult time of year… all those memories.”

Harry’s laughter carried across the cemetery. 

“Thank you for bringing me today, Remus,” Sirius said. “I’d never have thought to bring Harry here, but… seeing him laughing and playing near where they are, it seems right. He’ll never know them, but we can make sure they live for him through our memories.”

Remus nodded, but his concentration was now on Harry and Severus. Harry’s laughter had an edge of hysteria, as it did when Harry began to get overexcited. Severus had noticed too and was trying to call him back.

“Harry, be careful, you’ll–“

Suddenly Harry tripped and fell, landing face first on a gravestone. He began to scream and Severus stood, frozen, all colour draining from his face. Remus and Sirius ran across to them.

“Harry, Harry, it’s alright.”

Sirius picked the boy up and held him close. Remus put an arm around Severus, who was now shaking slightly.

“Okay, love?”

Severus shook his head.

“Time to go home?”

Severus nodded. Remus glanced across at Sirius and met his eye.

“Yes,” Sirius said. “Time to go home.”


End file.
